POETRY: Empty Within, I ain’t Kidding

bokeh d'or.

Staring at the sky,
I see your eyes
Falling backward, cry
Eyes shut; I see bright

Surrounded by failures,
I tried
Surrounded by disappointments
I have tried

Surrounded by human’s standard
I have tried even harder
Surrounded by selfishness
I have tried my very best

To run the wrong race,
Rat race,
To achieve the un-achievable,
Junk of the earth,
Wealth of the nations,
Money of the nonsense.

To satisfy our fake needs
To fulfill our temporary worry
To answer our long-term anxiety

To be the best of the best
To be better than yesterday
To be better than ever
To be better like never before

Unending searching
Eternal fake of the temporal
Bullshit wisdom of the earth
Plastic gems–expensive trash


How vulnerable is our mind?
Being tricked by advertising and media
Even being changed as the science goes around
Being triggered by manipulated impulse

Synthetic love’s wrapped in a product named porn
Fame hides behind the luxury outfit
Pride comes along with wealth and social status
Weak identity, we’re looking for man’s approval

Six-pack, rich, beauty, top of the career
Fake, stupid, gross, superior, yet inferior


The only contribution that I made
is that I made more money than before
(Um, I got another)
I made my self famous by helping ones in need

Self-made savior
(Self)-world changer
Jerk with a mission
Egocentric with a vision

Because having a lot of money feels good
Because having a lot of approvals feels great
Seeing relatives and colleagues clapping hand
Smiling and giving their best attention possible

Doing good for others is good for business
Doing good for others is great for fame
Philanthropic and rich, what a perfect balance

To feed the black hole inside of me
That’s asking for more and more,
More and more, more and more


The majority may say it’s a passion
Achievers may say it’s an ambition
Capitalists may say it’s a contribution
Psychologists may say it’s a motivation

Neuroscientists may say it is a matter of behavior
Modern scientists may say it is a matter of exposure

Economist may say it just an incentives
Religions may say it is all sins
Thus I deserve punishment and hell
But, HELL, I care no hell!


I gotta change“,
That’s what I think, and what they say

But, shoot, how on earth we change?
How can we back on track if we can’t see any lines?
How can we do good if there’s no good inside of us?
How can we forgive if we are guilty?How can we give if we have nothing?

How can we get up if we have no strength at all?
How can we get out of the pit if no one gives us a hand?

How can we see if we are blind?
How can we ask for help if we are deaf?

Hey, no one is listening!

Should I need to pay to get a help?

I didn’t hurt people, I just give em what I have received.
I love people with the same capacity as I’ve been loved.

How could you say that I don’t love?
How could you say that I can’t love?

How can we love if we don’t know what it is?
How can we love if we never get that?

*** ***

For we just a mere human, a weak creature.
Trying to fulfill our needs and try to give away whatever we have received.

Don’t blame our willpower which is limited,
blame them who blame us,
they speak a lot but show no love.

Don’t tell me what love is, show me
Don’t (just) show me that I’m wrong, help me

Don’t be a mere walking flesh with a fancy preaching.
Don’t be a just good godly guy with a sophisticated teaching.

I don’t care how much you know,
well because you hella care of me.
Doh, please ask The Most High GOD about feeling!

Just get off, you’re not real,
you’re just doing your business:
spreading religions.
Oh, what a good deal.

*** *** *

“let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in deed and in truth (in practice and in sincerity).”
-amplified bible

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