dark sky full of stars

*
I am here,
taking a deep breath
tryin to remember all the great things
in the past

exhaling breath
tryin to speak out
the right words to say
to celebrate

in this very same place
with the same amazing view
a clear sky in the night,
sky full of stars!

**
it was several years ago
ah, i still remember it clearly
how i felt that time
how stupid i was

For not believing
God’s promise

what a good GOD,
He’s still showing me the vision
all over again

He didn’t give up on me
We won’t give up on me

When I lost my sight
He gave me vision
Even when i didn’t have faith
He still believed in me

It was a promise
His promise.

Yes, so beautiful
so wonderful

It seemed impossible
haha, i could say

He is God for the impossible
He is GOD! GOOD GOD!
Yes He is!

He showed me His promise
He said it very clearly
He put it as a vision
It was too vivid,
i couldn’t contain myself

The sky
The dark sky
full of stars

the vision
the promise

I didn’t get it
at the first time
I didn’t believe it
In the beginning

He’s faithful
He is the same
yesterday, today and forever

It was heavy and tough
I was holding my breath

“LORD i need a break
please don’t try to entertain me
with those glazing wonders”

it was too big
it was too huge

it was impossible
it can’t be
it won’t be

please, just, give me
The real things

***

“Are those illusions or what?”

“Those are visions, those are yours”

the night was dark, but
the stars was too shiny at that moment

I couldn’t control my emotion
I couldn’t handle it

You can’t lie
You can’t fail
and You never will

“father of many nations”,

you said!

ah I couldn’t believe
it was like a cheap sweetener
from a nagging wife

“To be a blessing for all nations”

hey,
it was too far!
it was too much!

LOOK AT ME,

please look at the reality today,
now, yesterday?
please stop all of this nonsense

****
It was Your promise
I just receive it

You’re the Giver
i am the receiver

whatever you want
let it be done
whatever you want
yes, whatever you want

why do You believe in me?
i don’t believe in myself

also my inner circle
even my big family and my colleague
they don’t believe in me, i tell You!

I think i can’t do it
i think i am not able
i think I am not capable
i think that i am not worthy enough

Anyway,
you’re God
and i am not

I’m limited
You’re unlimited

I shut my mouth
I shut my mind

for seconds, minutes, hours,
i’m staring at the stars
looking at Your promise
seeing Your vision

the stars in the dark sky
Oh Lord, please don’t lie

night after night
day after day
you’re there
you’re still there

you’re here
you’re still here

you were faithful
you are faithful
and you will always be

I’m sorry for my unbelief
i have been watching
at the stars every night
and still had no faith

and finally, yes, you did it 🙂

you did exactly
what you’ve promised

PERFECT!

*****
who am I trying to limit GOD?
who am I trying to give an advice to GOD?

the creation tried to dictate the creator..
the creation tried to invent God–the unlimited–
in human limited mind..

I can clearly remember those days of my unbelief
I was standing at the same place as i am right now

Ah, finally

I am here being really grateful,

“Thank You Daddy God.”

[Sept 2015]

Reference :
Then the LORD took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!”
..I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies.
And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed–all because you have obeyed me.”

http://biblehub.com/genesis/15-6.htm